wed aug 12 2009

mood:confused, what else?
song:demi lovato- catch me

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i rummaged through my sister's near empty closet. it seems she took anything good to Toronto with her when we helped her move last weekend. i found some okay clothes and they're worn out enough to look vintage cuz im such a poser.

i just dropped off my resumé at comic adventures-they say that they hire at 14 years old, but im sure they wont hire me. i also stole 4 dollars from my mother and bought myself so much chocolate, it's sickening. i feel like there's rocks rolling around my head. i cried my self to sleep last night. i just finished reading a book about a girl that was semi-depressed, chubby,australian and a bit confused. but in the end everything's fine and she dates the cute boy named Hunter.
that was my queue to cry. life isn't like that. book's shouldn't give such a false hope to it's readers. especially when they relate so much with the main character.

now my eyes are mega puffy and my killer headache just makes me wanna crawl into a black hole and never come back out. also, the girl that tortured me in grade seven and eight just posed a new profile picture. she looks average. but everyone who comments swears she's a goddess.
i'm begging to get that impression. i want what they're drinking, cuz apparently she's flipping gorgeous, and i'm just missing it. all i see is her smudgy mascara and ugly nose and not to mention her clingy odd looking boyfriend.

jealousy at it's best.

marie inboxed me on facebook apologizing. before i say anything to harsh. i'll just post what she said.

hey.
so.
im sorry for what i did. i dont know how to handle it, im not going to lie. i didnt know what to do and all i wanted was for you to be okay. my actions were reckless and theres no justification for them. but at the same time im not perfect and i never said i was. im sorry, its just hard for me being in the middle of you two and i didnt know what to do. im not asking you to forgive me, honestly all i want is for you to be okay. so if you want to hate me, go ahead. thats not going to change the fact that i love and care for you. and stop thinking im lying, cuz im not. i just want you to be okay. if you ever need anything, im here. im sorry, i really am. i dont know how else to say it. i fucked up. bad. im sorry. i love you.



-sunney.